Falling Down isn't always a bad thing

When we think of the word fail, we associate it with a lot of negative thoughts along with things that you can’t do now because you fail. We made a mistake and paid the price, but coming from own experience, failing can be a learning experience. I will be honest, when I realized how much I failed on my book, it at first it felt like I fall down into a bottomless pit that no one can get out of, but then I come to realize that this isn’t true. There is always a bottom to a pit and always a way out.

I basically fell for all 4 of Jane Friedman’s “The Traps Beginners Fall Into” from her book “Publishing 101: A First-Time Author’s Guide to Getting Published, Marketing and Promoting your book, and building a Successful Career” (a book that I would highly recommend!).

1. If I can’t get a deal soon, I am self publishing

It wasn’t really that I didn’t want to wait for agent or deal it was just at the time that I couldn’t due to my circumstance and age. I started my first manuscript in 7th grade when at the beginning was just a way to pass time, but grew into a passion for writing. For the next four years I worked on the novel and eventually had my first draft. After that I had my dad help me edit my book. I was only around seventeen at the time when I finally self published my first book. I was still in high school and most people that published were mainly adults. I came into a mindset that I couldn’t properly try to publish my book because agents wouldn’t take me seriously and the only option I had been to self publish.

2. I just want to get my book published

This relates to #1 a lot because the whole time I was writing my parents were pressuring me to get the book out as fast I could. They were my biggest supporters (which I was glad), but they made me believe that I should just get my book out there and if I do that I would immediately sell lots off books. This obviously didn’t happen. What happened was I first was very proud of myself and basked in the glory that I was a self-published author. I can’t describe how happy I was to have made this accomplishment. Then as time went on everything slowly turned sour, I didn’t have the same happy feeling as I first did when I self published and after two years I realized nothing had really changed. I did not really “feel” like an author any more. I think what Clay Shirky said in Jane’s book really summed up my whole experience, “In a world where publishing is effortless, the decision to publish something isn’t terrible momentous.”

3. Quality is subjective, and I don’t need a professional editor

“An editor is not a family member, a friend, an English major, or your writing group buddy. An editor is someone with professional training whose only responsibility is to ensure you produce the best book possible.”

I defiantly cut a lot of corners when making my book, this one was one of the biggest things I now regret not doing. The main reason why I didn’t get one is because of the cost. They may have been supportive of me writing, but didn’t think I needed to shell out lots of money to pay for an editor. My dad said he could do it for free and though I knew my dad would be correct all the grammar, he did not know anything about making a good story into a great one. He was a good sounding board where I could bounce off ideas with him, but he was nowhere close to the editor I really needed. May be then I would really saw how much this book really needed before actually putting it out there. I was so embarrassed on how bad it was when I took a second look at it after those two years. Of course younger me at the time thought it was perfect, but now after gaining more experience I was thoroughly wrong.

4. I just need someone to really pay attention

Did I think my book was unique? Yes.

Did I think it deserved a chance to be published? Also yes.

Did I do it the right way? Defiantly no.

It is a moment of realizing this is when you really wish time travel was possible, so you can just go back and slap your younger self. Though I have to give myself some credit, back then I thought I was doing all the right things. That things will just happen if I just do what my parents say and get my book out there. I mean they were always right before. The thing is though, parents aren’t always right. They will have the best intentions, but that doesn’t mean they know everything like we tend to believe (I know shocking). Mine sure weren’t, my dad is a lawyer and mom an elementary teacher. Sure they know a lot in their respective fields, but they never wrote a book, nor have they have any experience in the publishing industry. Heck though, I didn’t either, but that is probably the reason why I followed their advice so much, because I for the most part had no idea what I was getting into. It made me wish they taught a publishing class in high school.

        So what have I learned? I learned that life doesn’t give you stuff on a silver platter and even when you think you conquered that mountain sometimes it turns out you just fallen into a deep hole. A pit filled with insecurities, hopelessness and monsters, but let me tell you that falling down into that scary pit isn’t that bad. For me it has given me time to reflect, backtrack and re-plan what are my next steps in my writing career. Starting with taking my book off so I could re-write the manuscript. So I can make this the best manuscript I could possibly make. I know that I made mistakes, but I was young, I was hopeful and determined. Not to say there aren’t good traits, but at the same time they can lead to bad decisions if focused on the wrong thing. All writers wish to become the next James Patterson, J.K. Rowling or Stephen King, but you can’t let fantasy take over entirely because that leads to tons of mistakes. If anything please take away that.

        So if you are a first time writer and were in a situation similar to mine, I will tell you that there is still hope! So instead of thinking of this as a pit, see it as a cavern that you haven’t explored yet. You may become confused, but that is ok! Everyone is at one point confused, so may be talk to the monsters and realize not all of them are bad. You may have a long journey ahead of you, but again that is ok, at least you learned from this and are willing to try again and do it right.

This drawing was done by mnstrcndy

Who am I online?

Who am I online? A question that hasn’t really been brought to my attention till now. Of course my parents always warn me “Be Careful what you put online!”, but I always was careful. Though, I am cautious about posting some things, other things I post without a second thought.

There are really two big differences in who I am, which are professional and casual. Of course that would describe most people. A lot of people (including me) now see Facebook as more as a professional way to look at a person. Especially when a lot of job markets now look at their Facebook as a part of the application process. This has cause me to think of my Facebook differently now than when I was a kid. This wasn’t a place to not just play games and post funny posts, but as a way to show off yourself and let employers see you are a respectable person. This could go for Twitter also, but in a different sense. My Twitter is more professional with a slice of casual since I use my Twitter as apart of my writing career, though I don’t post on it as often because I feel like I don’t have much to say. This causes me to reblog a lot of things from other people rather than make original posts. Along with wanting to keep up with other writers, artists and agents that I like.

My casual presence online is anonymous sticking to a username on Tumblr and posting all the casual things I wouldn’t post on my other sites. This includes funny memes, videos, and pictures. All from my favorite shows, videogames, etc. that I am into. It is definitely more the true me than it is the other places because I feel like I can express more since I am anonymous. Though I do have a professional side blog, it is similar to my Twitter where I keep it mainly professional, but also like sharing different interests that I like.

So who am I online? Well professionally I am a inspiring teacher and writer going to Ball Ball State to get my degree. Having come from a middle class family that likes to camp, bike and be together. While casually I am a fandom fangirl that likes a bit of everything and likes to rant about different theories and thoughts on my favorite shows. In the end though, if you really like to get to know me just talk to me.

MWW15 and what I learned

I have to say that this years Midwest Writers Workshop was amazing! Of course this is my first writing workshop, but I at least hear from the other writers that this one is a good one and I again have to agree. 

My first conference experience, though, was probably a bit different than most of the people there. Only because I stayed at the near by Summit Lake State Park camp ground near Muncie. Most, if not all the people there either commuted from home or had a hotel room. This is only because I had went up to Michigan earlier that week to Mackinaw Island for a short vacation and we took the camper for the mainland. So when we went back down we decided to just keep using the camper so we didn’t have to rearranged everything.

Anyways though, the workshop had a lot of friendly writers that I got to meet and the sessions were very informative. The only thing bad about it is that there were so many good sessions you could go to that you couldn’t just choose just one for each hour! There were also other things like “Buttomhole the Expert” that allowed you to get a lot of information in a short amount of time. I also enjoyed the Agents Panel where we could question agents about what they were looking for and some advice.

Which then brings me to what I learned that was the probably the most important. Which is I learned from the agents that I couldn’t get a agent for my book because I was already self published, but thankfully I also got good news. I learned that I could take my book totally off the market and rework it so I can submit it so I could possibly get an agent. Which I am glad, because I lately came to the realization that self publishing isn’t really for me. I mean I did try my best to get my book out there, but I just can’t advertise my book enough to make a profit or really the reward I was looking for. I mean I do admit that I defiantly thought it was really rewarding when I first self published, but now I see it wasn’t as rewarding as I originally thought it was. 

There is a silver lining to this though! I learned! And I can also fix this, it might take a while, but I know I can do this. Especially when I also learned about this writing program called “Scrivener”. Which I would recommend to any writer! It really helps with organization and there is no subscription! Which I think is the best part. 

Finally to any writers that haven’t been to this workshop I would really recommend it. It doesn’t cost as much as other workshops, and if you are a Ball State student you could even win a chance to go for free with the Midwest Writers Workshop Scholarship. 

Video Games Live

I had a great night last night at Video Games Live! I am glad I was able to meet with Tommy Tallarico, Russell Brower and Viking Jesus. I hope they come back to Ball State next year. Keep playing awesome music!

 Here is a picture of me with (from left to right) Viking Jesus, Russell Brower, me and Tommy Tallarico

<-- Here is me with Tommy Tallarico

 

                 Here is me with my friend Cameron -->
                 and Viking Jesus 









The picture bellow is the stage where they preformed

One of my little helpers

I'm not sure if anyone knows of this site, but I find this to be one of the more helpful sites I ever found for me as a writer that like to be organized and researches a lot. It is called padlet.com. It is really simple you can either write notes, drag pictures onto it or even links and have multiple things on one wall. You can also shrink and grow the links/notes/pictures so you fit the wall or add more stuff to it!

I have used this site already a lot for my book and I encourage other writers to use this. Trust me when I say you will be amazed how much you use this for writing and non-writing use.

About Me Page updated

I just want to announce that my about me page is finally done. Thank you for you patience.

Inspiration

Inspiration can come in many forms. From books, movies, feelings or even the simple object can inspire. In writing or even in drawing something simple can be made into a beautiful work of art. Last weekend I went to Shuto Con, a convention for Anime fans. Anime is one of the things that inspire me and seeing all the people there dressed up as many different characters from a lot of shows reminded me one of my roots as a writer. What inspires you?